After I came out I encountered a dilemma…how do you know if she is a lesbian?
My first suggestion was to tag all the lesbians in the world…but then that came to close to the Nazi days so I had to change my approach.
The thing is that with some women, se les nota (you can tell) but for others like myself it is hard to tell…well that is until I open my mouth and I say something totally gay.
So one of the first things I did was register with www.downelink.com which is a “social networking” site for the LGBT community.
I created this lovely and possibly too revealing profile about myself and what I was looking for. In my mind, which tends to occur often, I imagined this great love story of me meeting the womyn of my dreams after one look at her profile picture and after a couple exchanged messages we would instantly click and have a happy ending.
It will be 3 years this November that I have had this profile and let me tell you none of those fairy-tale stories you see in the movies has happened.
So far, I have met up with 3 girls from the website and they all had very different endings.
My first experience was definitely interesting and set a tone that I did not expect.
We went out to this sandwich place in Chinatown called Philippe’s “the birth place of the French dipped sandwich” after my lezbro recommended it. I had never been to the place but I took his word for it.
I was SOOO greatful that when I saw her in person she DID look like her profile picture…hazel eyes, curly hair and well endowed. Well, the date was OK. I was trying hard to make interesting conversation and it did not help that I was hella nervous. And after we ate (which btw, I would not recommend anyone take a girl to Philippes on a first date) we drove in her car to Little Tokyo and ended up at some RANDOM jazz bar with old Asian people singing and line dancing.
It was all very eary and awkward and I could not hear anything she was saying. Plus her low cut shirt was very distracting.
So after 3o-minutes there we decided to call it a night and we drove back to the parking lot of Philippe’s where I had left my car in the parking lot. I strategically looked around and so no other car but my own. My goal was to kiss her before I left but, I had never kissed strange womyn on the first day with out at least being buzzed.
She could tell i was holding something back so I decided honesty was the best policy…so I told her that I wanted to kiss her but I was nervous. And next thing you know we were like the scene in Titanic when Rose’s hand leaves an imprint in the steamy car. Well..it was complicated because we were moving seats back and forth and legs didnt fit here or there. LOL.
Oh memories…but the best part hasn’t happened…after we started to get comfortable the cooks from Philippe’s come out and knock on the car door! FUUUUCKkk!!!
I pulled up my pants faster than a fireman could and we were looking for shirts and shoes and all hell broke loose! She put the car in gear and we took off! Only problem was that my car was still in the parking lot! FUCK!
So we went around the block for then minutes and everytime we passed my car the guys were still peeking in my car! I finally convinced her to pull in and luckily when we did the guys moved, guys that reminded me of my Tio Chuy when we got closer to them.
I dont even think I said goodbye to the girl. I just jumped in my car started the ignition y “queme llanta!” (peeled out).
I haven’t seen her or heard from her since…but if it is one thing that this experience taught me was that I shouldn’t delete my profile yet.